Shakespeare's Pizza and Mail Order Pizza

Shake's Eats - Yes, the Menu

Pizza:

All our pizzas are served with your choice of wheat or white crust. Hardly anybody orders the wheat, but everybody should. You can also have the crust made as thin, regular, or thick crust. The best part is, you can have it delivered!

Print the Printable PDF Menu (opens in new window)

Size:	8"	12"	16"
Persons Served:	One	Two	Three or Four
Cheese Pizza	$5.00	$8.75	$13.00
Additional Toppings	$0.70	$1.55	$2.50
Combo Pizzas (combos explained below):
The Pizza Lovers' Passion	$7.80	$14.95	$23.00
The Vegetarian	$7.80	$14.95	$23.00
The Meat Lovers'	$7.80	$14.95	$23.00
The Darwin	$7.80	$14.95	$23.00
The Masterpiece	$9.90	$19.60	$30.50

• Basic Toppings
  • Red Onions
  • Pepperoni
  • Canadian Bacon
  • Fresh Mushrooms
  • Sliced Ripe Black Olives
  • Green Peppers
  • Lean Ground Beef
  • Lean Italian Sausage
• Exotic Toppings
  • Pepper Cheese
  • Tomatoes
  • Anchovies
  • Artichoke Hearts
  • Pineapple
  • Jalapenos
  • Green Olives
  • Broccoli
  • Breakfast Bacon Crumbles
  • Cheddar Cheese
  • and no, we don't have Pork Rinds
  • (Number One why-don't-you-have-it topping: Fresh Garlic. We welcome your input, and we're working on the garlic.)

 

 

Combo Pizzas Explained (substitutions allowed):

(Do you hate the word "COMBO"? Or, "VEGGIE"? We do, too. And, it really bugs the boss's sister, and SHE should know.) ANY substitutions are permitted on ANY of these pizzas. You are, after all, paying us.... Half toppings are half price.

 

A SOMEWHAT IMPORTANT (WE THOUGHT) NOTE:

We put the same portion of a given topping on every pizza, regardless of the number of different toppings that you order. Lots of other joints don't do that.

For example, if you order our 16" pepperoni pizza, you should get about 28 slices of pepperoni. And if you order our 16" pepperoni, onion, mushroom, peppers, sausage, extra cheese, jalapenos, anchovies, and pineapple pizza... you'll still get a full 28 pepperonis, along with a full portion of every one of the other toppings.

Many other joints (most notably the chains) put LESS of each topping on, the more toppings you order. So you might get 28 pepperonis on a pizza with just pepperoni, but if you order a bunch of other toppings - and pepperoni - you'll get less pepperoni.

They'll say it doesn't cook right, or they don't charge as much for multiple toppings, or whatever, and that's fine. They do it their way. We do it ours. Full topping portions, regardless of the number ordered. So there.

How to cook half-bakes and frozen pizzas.

This page is waaaay too long.

My scroll finger is getting blisters.

 

Salads

All our salads make a nice side, or a light meal.

Louie's Salad: $4.95

Named in honor of the owner's dog, Louie. He doesn't like the salad (He's a dog. Dogs don't eat salad. They eat rabbits. If they can catch them. Otherwise, it's the same dog chow over and over and over...) But his owner likes him, as well as the salad.

• Spinach
• croutons
• real shredded Parmesan cheese
• hearts of palm
• sliced almonds.

Truly our best salad. Don't ask us what a heart of palm is. All we'll say is that it's vegetarian, and kind of like a Vienna Sausage, but since it's vegetarian, it's not. Yes it is. No, it's not.

Vegetarian: $4.95

• Lettuce
• mushrooms
• black olives
• red onions
• green peppers
• cheddar cheese
• sprouts
• tomato
• cauliflower
• broccoli.

Meats and Cheeses: $4.95

• Lettuce
• turkey
• ham
• Swiss
• American
• cheddar
• artichoke heart
• sprouts
• tomato.

Dinner Salad: $2.49

A nice simple dinner salad if that's all you want, but boy it's just that. Simple.

• Lettuce
• cheddar cheese
• sprouts
• tomato
• red onion.

You should get the Louie's instead.

Salad Dressings

Choice of T. Marzetti’s dressings with the Vegetarian, Meats and Cheese and Dinner (The Louie's Salad has the dressing on it already because it's really good that way... we'll change it if you want, but trust us, it's good.):

• Ranch
• Light Italian
• Honey French
• Fat Free Ranch
• Honey Dijon
• Blue Cheese. Always on the side in a packet.

Extra Dressing Packets: $0.23 - It ain't the cheap stuff, and it ain't free. We make like maybe two cents on each packet.

Other Stuff

Cheese Garlic Bread $5.49 - Made with real butter... a great appetizer. Five slices of French bread with garlic butter and our provolone pizza cheese

Brighton's Cookies $0.94 - Brighton makes these from scratch, with eggs, milk, and whatnot, using the recipe from the back of the tollhouse morsels bag, and from the index cards in grandma's kitchen.  Really. These are truly home-made.  Except we make them at Shakespeare's, but we make them the same way as if we made them at home, so we can say they are home-made.  Even though they aren't.  Not a dieter’s selection.

Frozen Pizzas - They're available at our restaurants and at local grocers, or you can Order On Line and have them mailed to you.  You can also contact us with a few day's notice and we'll make custom frozen pizzas for you, with your topping choice.

Libations (Go look up "Libation" in the dictionary. We dare you.)

Soft Drinks - Since we've been around for 30 years, hustling, cajoling, bribing and generally palm-greasing our place in the market into one of prominence and dominance, we've made ourselves into the only restaurant that we've ever heard of that has Coke AND Pepsi; Pepper AND Pibb, Sprite AND 7-Up. Except they don't make 7-Up any more, so it's Sierra Mist. And that's just the fountain.

We also offer a variety of 20 oz bottles (again, both Pepsi AND Coke stuff.) Our Iced Tea is brewed fresh daily (actually, several times a day.) Free refills. We also have coffee, which is always fresh, since we drink it by the gallon. Actually , by the Shakes cup.  We get all wired up and talk real fast and don't make sense and get jittery, and it really freaks out the new employees, which we find wildly amusing.

• 20 Ounce Bottles, wide variety $1.39
• 22 Ounce Shakes cup, refillable per visit (not forever) $1.95
• 22 Ounce Shakes cup, refillable forever $598.00
• 60 Ounce Pitcher, serves 3-4 $4.77
• 60 Ounce Pitcher that you plan to get a bajillion refills and use for 148 people $598
• Iced Tea, refillable per visit $0.94
• Coffee, refillable per visit $0.94

Drinks That Aren't Soft - We stock a wide variety of beers (tap, bottle, import, domestic, micro, etc.) and wine. Our location in The District also offers a full bar. The selection changes often thanks to Corey the Beermeister. He has the difficult job of seeking out interesting brews, sampling them and evaluating them for us, and choosing which ones we should stock. Tough job. His variety changes more often than this menu does, so you’ll just have to see what we have. Chances are, if we ain’t got it, you don’t want it.

More Stuff

This is, after all, America, so we'll sell just about anything we have, for a price. T-shirts, hats, and other apparel; pizza pans, pizza cutters and other pizza making tools; glasses, pitchers, cups, napkins; and just about everything else other than Sara the Mushroom Girl are available at our Gift Shop. Actually, I think it's SaraH.

Print the Printable PDF Menu (opens in new window)